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      Sunday, January 20, 2008


tales from the parkside
06:37 PM - 01/20/2008

The topic: Brian was wondering

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if my relationship with my mom will be any better once she’s clean and sober (if she gets clean and sober).  You know, how much of the crap in the past, the hurtful things, is because of the alcohol.  

There were times that we had fun and I felt the bond that so many mothers and daughters seem to have, a closeness that I’ve often not felt with her.  Not because I didn’t want it, but because I’ve often felt, even when I was a kid, that she just didn’t like me very much.  Yeah, sure, she loves me, but she just doesn’t like me.

We visited her today and the smoking thing seemed to be a huge fun lark to her.  Forget the fact that she was smoking right next to the oxygen that was at the end of the woman’s bed next to her. 

And for the first time in almost a week, the rails of her bed were back up in place and she was hooked up to the alarm so she couldn’t get out of bed and walk around without supervision.  She was doing so well.  She says she doesn’t remember where the cigarette or lighter came from.  We think she does know, she just won’t say.  I don’t think it was anybody in the care center, I think she had well meaning company Saturday night. 

I wish people would quit doing her favors.  *lol*


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tales from the parkside
07:49 AM - 01/20/2008

The topic: After falling back asleep because

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Bobby is still on his nocturnal outdoor time, and he prowls the house, crying, while we’re trying to sleep, the phone rings at 7:20.  Not a good thing to hear.

It’s the care center where mom is.  They ask to speak with me.

“You’re mama was smoking in her room this morning, did you give her cigarettes?”  banghead

*sigh*

No, we didn’t give her any cigarettes. I was told they took away her lighter (WTF?) and told her not to smoke in the room.  And if we brought her cigarettes, to give them to the desk and not to mom. 

Brian and I think she got them from one of the other patients.  She doesn’t have that many visitors.

Brian will bring this up with her, though, not me.  And when she gets defensive and says they shouldn’t have called us and tattled on her, he’ll tell her they were just doing their job and she’s the one at fault.

If she does this with cigarettes now, what will she do with beer when she’s back on her own? 

I won’t go through this again if it’s because of drinking.  I just won’t do it.  She’ll be on her own.


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lisaviolet is sixty something, married with no kids, takes care of lots of cats, likes taking photographs, loves Southern California weather and spends altogether too much time avoiding her responsibilities.

In her spare time, she makes pretty things to sell in her store.

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