if my relationship with my mom will be any better once she’s clean and sober (if she gets clean and sober). You know, how much of the crap in the past, the hurtful things, is because of the alcohol.
There were times that we had fun and I felt the bond that so many mothers and daughters seem to have, a closeness that I’ve often not felt with her. Not because I didn’t want it, but because I’ve often felt, even when I was a kid, that she just didn’t like me very much. Yeah, sure, she loves me, but she just doesn’t like me.
We visited her today and the smoking thing seemed to be a huge fun lark to her. Forget the fact that she was smoking right next to the oxygen that was at the end of the woman’s bed next to her.
And for the first time in almost a week, the rails of her bed were back up in place and she was hooked up to the alarm so she couldn’t get out of bed and walk around without supervision. She was doing so well. She says she doesn’t remember where the cigarette or lighter came from. We think she does know, she just won’t say. I don’t think it was anybody in the care center, I think she had well meaning company Saturday night.
I wish people would quit doing her favors. *lol*