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      Tuesday, May 10, 2005



09:30 PM - 05/10/2005

The topic: Forums

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Remember my mentioning complaining about dog related posts on a cat related board?  Well, during my diatribe on said board, someone else spoke up with the same sentiments.  Someone trolled her.  I called on the admin to please remove the troll’s post. Admin said she couldn’t.  Because admin was the one who instigated the troll. That’s just wrong. I didn’t publicly broadcast what I knew, but did tell a few people privately that I wouldn’t be going to that forum for a while.  I needed to take a break from it. It really bothered me that the admin wasn’t adminining fairly.  And it’s not like she pays for the board, the members donate to keep it running (it’s a boardhost board).

Shortly after that, she posted on another public forum that she was frustrated at her lack of responses to resumes sent to companies who had posted help wanted ads on Craigslist.  Now, I’m not really familiar with Craigslist, but from what I’ve seen there, I’m not overly impressed. It’s not someplace you’d find me hanging out, that’s for sure.  So, she posted her own help wanted ad.  Just to see what the competition was like.  People responded.  She actually wondered if it would be alright for her to send these poor guys critiques of their resumes!  Can we say “nervy”?

So, disgusted, I took the main cat related forum at Benny’s private.  And she no longer has access.  I can’t begin to describe how icky this all made me feel.  What’s kind of funny is that she’s come over to Benny’s more times in the past three weeks than she’s been there the past two plus years (registered users can see who’s been there).  Shortly after that, she did post on Benny’s and openly admitted what she’d done.  She also made a couple of snarky comments about me, which only added to my resolve. I must admit, I was quite proud that people kept their opinions to themselves. It didn’t descend into a free-for-all, but I’m also sure that was because it was posted on a registered board. Cowards seem to find loads of courage to speak up when nobody knows who they are.  Me, I believe you should own your words.  If I feel something strongly enough to post about it, I’ll use my name. It wasn’t always like that.  When I first came onto the internet I did my fair share of anonymous nasty posts. And I regretted it.  And I haven’t done it since.

I haven’t posted at the forum she maintains since April 19th.  And if anybody has noticed, nobody’s said anything.  Oh, well.  Like I always said, if you want to leave a forum, just leave, don’t make an issue of it.  And if anybody cares, someone will bring it up.  I guess nobody cared.  That’s okay, I’ve still got Benny’s.  Not that it’s all that busy, but I guess I’ve always got housework to keep me occupied. 

For the record, there are more forums at Benny’s than just pet related.  I’ve got forums for jokes, Cranky Old Women (must be at least fifty to join), Modern Mothers, Whining Whippersnappers, Disneyland, just for starters.  If anyone is interested, feel free to register.  Just let me know which forums you’d like to access.

Sometimes it’s lonely to have principles.



Just wanted to let you know that I did notice you not posting at that board. I understand your view - It’s one I hold myself.  You said you would leave and you did. I respect that. I like Benny’s best anyhow, and wish it was more active.

Posted by kittykids @ Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 7:32:06 AM

lisaviolet's avatar

I’ve seriously considered leaving the forums altogether.  I wish Benny’s were more active, I really do. Problem is I don’t have the energy to respond to all of the posts. I know if I did, then others might join. Responses keep people coming back for more.  Way back when AcmePet was young, I spent hours there, responding to each and every post, sitting here with my cat health books and if I couldn’t find answers there, I’d call my vet.  I think that type of thing went a long way for people to keep coming back. Then more people joined, people more knowledgable than me and I didn’t post so much, but by then, I had my website to work on.

I wish I could get more people interested, people not from AHOC, but new people.  And I don’t know how I can do that.  I just don’t.  I keep putting out the call here, but there haven’t been all that many responses.  I just don’t know what to do. 

Thank you for your support, it means a lot.

Posted by lisaviolet @ Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 8:06:06 AM


I agree with everything you said.  When I heard who did the troll post, I was stunned.  I hope the mistake has been learned from and won’t happen again.

I too wish Benny’s was more active.  They are my favorite forums.  Great features.

Posted by Kelli @ Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 12:47:06 PM

lisaviolet's avatar

Thanks, Kelli. I wish people weren’t so afraid of change. “It’s too hard to learn new stuff” is the biggest whine I’ve gotten about Benny’s.  Sad. This old dog (damn dogs) doesn’t mind learning new tricks.

Posted by lisaviolet @ Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 1:04:06 PM


I noticed as soon as you hadn’t been there a few days, and the header on Benny’s changed. I figured there is no sense starting anything.  I thought the troll post was beneath her.

Posted by Norah @ Thursday, May 12, 2005 - 6:38:06 PM

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lisaviolet is sixty something, married with no kids, takes care of lots of cats, likes taking photographs, loves Southern California weather and spends altogether too much time avoiding her responsibilities.

In her spare time, she makes pretty things to sell in her store.

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