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      Thursday, April 17, 2008


tales from the parkside
07:34 PM - 04/17/2008

The topic: Coincidence?

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I posted this over on a forum this afternoon and I wanted to save it, so I’m posting it here.

Okay, so Thelma and I are at mom’s again. Kitchen finished, Thelma starts on the guest bathroom and I’m working (still) in the bedroom. It takes a long time when you’re going through lots of memories, ones you didn’t even know were there.

Before my mom went into the facility, before she had to go in, she gave me her jewelry for safekeeping (well, she gave it to me because she was afraid she’d die and other people would steal it before I found it). This made me uncomfortable, because denial is a lovely place to live. I brought it home. While she was at Chase (the facility), I cleaned it all up and had it nice for her for when she went home. But there were a couple of rings missing, rings she wore all of the time. I wondered where they might be and finally came up with the explanation that she’d lost so much weight that they’d fallen off and she didn’t know where they were.

She had told Brian and me on one of the days that he visited with me, that sometimes she put her rings on the top of lamps. We figured she just put them at the top, where the lampshade connect. Brian checked all of the lamps, but never found any rings.

Fast forward, mom’s gone.  Before Thelma was out here and cracking the whip to make me work, I’d go over to the manager’s office to pay the rent and talk with Sue about mom. She told me that one of the residents, one that mom really liked, wanted the lamps in the room where mom spent most of her time. She thought they were touch lamps (they did come on when touched, but I think it’s because of something attached to the cords, not the lamps themselves) and she asked if she could have them. Mom liked her, she had a pug, they both had husbands in the Shrine, she can have them. Something to remember mom by.

Well, I told Thelma and Thelma is being very protective of me and mom’s stuff and said “well, if you give this stuff to Father Joe, you’ll be able to write it off of your taxes”. She didn’t want me to give the lamps away. I’m not sure what to do at this point.  Do I give them to Betty or to Father Joe? It seems like such a small thing, but at this point, I’m confused.  Thelma seems to want to follow mom’s wishes to the letter and I’m trying to make things easier by getting rid of them before they have to be packed, making it easier on me.  I am, after all, basically a very lazy person.

Thelma brought breakfast this morning and we were sitting on the porch eating when the phone rang. I thought it was Thelma’s cell, since the phone service had been shut off. Thelma said “no, that’s not my phone”. It was mom’s phone. I went inside to answer and there was no one there. I checked caller ID, but since there’s no service, there’s no caller ID. A little while later, it rang again and Thelma answered this time and it was the local newspaper, wanting mom to resubscribe. Mom never was subscribed. Thelma is feeling a little unnerved by this time, she slept poorly last night because mom was in her dreams all night long.

Later, I was telling Thelma about mom’s rings. And since all drawers have been emptied by this point with no rings, we started looking for them. Even took the mattress off of the futon mom always sat on, pulled it out from the wall and found nothing. Couldn’t find them, and I went back to the “they’re lost” explanation.

Fast forward to this afternoon. Sue (the manager), comes up to the house, Betty in the cart. Betty wanted to thank me for all of the pug stuff I’d sent down to her. And while she’s there, we find out she’s got a brain tumor, the reason she was in the hospital for three days and they don’t want to do anything with it until it’s bigger.  Thelma and Betty compare notes about their brain tumors and treatment.

While Thelma and Betty talked inside, I told Sue about the phone ringing. We were out on the porch and Brian was eating his lunch.  She looked at me and asked for mom’s number. She called it with her cell. We got “this number has been disconnected and there is no new number.” Which other people have gotten. Why did the phone ring earlier?

Sue went back inside and takes Betty into the bedroom to see the other lamps mom has. No, Betty wants the lamps in the other room. Thelma and I had put them on the kitchen counter before we knew they were coming up and Sue said “let’s put them on the cart and we’ll take you home” talking to Betty.

Thelma had one and I had the other. I looked at the one in Thelma’s arms and saw something interesting. I looked at my lamp and notice a latch on what I thought was just a decorative part of the lamp. I open it up. There are some gold earrings, that mom always wore. I said “Thelma, there’s a latch on the lamp, open it and see if there’s anything in there”.

Guess what? Mom’s missing rings. Thelma said “I guess you’re mom was trying to tell me something.”

And I was glad I went with my original plan of giving Betty the lamps. Because if I hadn’t, I’d never have seen those rings again.

Thanks, mom, your rings are safe.

And Thelma looked to the heavens and said “okay, okay,  I hear you”.  *lol*



It’s things like that that fuel my belief our loved ones are watching us and sometimes reach out to us from the other side.  It’s comforting (if you got along with them anyway…).  Glad you find the missing jewelry.

Posted by Lisa @ Thursday, April 17, 2008 - 8:13:50 PM


Thanks for sharing that. Would you mind asking your Mom to put in a good word for my Dad? It’s not time for him to go yet, he’s a healthy, full of life man. Always wanting to make people laugh.
He’s in ICU with ARDS after knee replacement surgery-TIA.

Posted by Melanee @ Friday, April 18, 2008 - 2:45:47 PM

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lisaviolet is seventy something, married with no kids, takes care of lots of cats, likes taking photographs, loves Southern California weather and spends altogether too much time avoiding her responsibilities.

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