He was asleep earlier today. He's beat. He woke up with his stomach in knots. He's not feeling well at all. He's gotten a few things done, but he's having a hard time. So, he wasn't that resistent when I told him to go lay down.
I think it's grief.
Miss Elizabeth's passing hit him harder than I thought it would.
He hasn't gotten a decent night's sleep in years. Because of Miss E. She slept with him, against him, next to him on the bed. When it was cold, she was under the covers. I'd wake up and he would have his feet on his side of the bed, his head next to my pillow. Because Miss E was in his spot and he didn't want to bother her. When she got up every three hours, then every two hours, recently even more often, during the night and she made her way into my bathroom, and she cried, he'd get up and make sure she had food. If she didn't, he would go into the garage and get her a new can of food and bring it to her. He'd shut the bathroom door so she could eat in peace. He'd go back to bed. When she was finished, he'd go back into the bathroom and cover the food and let her out. And when she got back to the bed, he'd move over to make room for her. If he hadn't carried her back in, that is.
I thought maybe he'd start sleeping better when she was gone. I asked this morning how he was and he just shrugged. He told me that his cousin was the same when his father died. He said "I didn't feel like this when MY dad died".
Miss Elizabeth was his heart kitty.
He pulled up the steps he had made for her, so she could get into bed. They were made of styrofoam, with short steps, but longer than normal so she could more easily navigate them. He pulled up the blankets from under the tractor, the blankets we've been putting out for a year, moving them with the sun, so she wouldn't have to lay on the ground, so the dampness didn't affect her.
He did some paperwork. Then he came into the family room, laid down and fell asleep. He was fast asleep when the company phone rang. He answered it, did some more paperwork, got a package ready to ship, took it down to UPS, came home and we were back in the family room. He fell asleep again.
He's tired. His heart is broken. It will heal. That's what hearts do.
He's concerned about the other cats. Sammy was howling last night. Sammy slept with Miss, he snuggled up against her. He headbutted her. He took care of her in the house. Spot took care of her outside. He was always closeby her when she was on a blanket.
It's hard. It's quiet.
And the tears come.
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