Not the premenstrual, but the poor me. Gah, it’s so annoying. Sitting here thinking about Brian not liking his job, but thinking to myself “even though he’s doing basically the same thing over and over, he’s doing it elsewhere, he’s meeting other people and he’s talented at what he does.” What do I do? I sit here all day long, washing the same laundry, cleaning the same litter boxes, vacuuming the same floor….I’m bored with my life.
So, he’s in the office yesterday, I’m in the other room flipping through channels. PBS has a three hour program with Dr. Wayne Dyer. Interesting. Back in the seventies, I lived with my first boyfriend. While he wasn’t physically abusive, he could be pretty mean with some of the things he said. I belonged to a book club and he was reading some of the info on the books and told me I should get this certain book, because I was so messed up. The book? “Your Erroneous Zones” by Dr. Wayne Dyer.
I ordered it. It came. I read it. I lost weight (I’ve always had a weight problem). I felt better about myself. I got a new job. And I left him. It was a hard thing to do, it was a scary thing to do, but I did it. And I never regretted it. (He did. Told me “I should have never told you to get that book.”)
The show was probably halfway done. (And I came to believe that there was actually only an hour of show, the rest was the PBS “give us money, please, give us money” crap. I ended up turning it off and I set the recorder to get it last night and I can watch it and fast forward through the pleas for money.) Anyway, the part I did see, I found very interesting. It was about your passion. And one of the things he said was to have a good life, to not complain about the things you have to do to live. Find the joy in your life and things will come to you.
After I’d turned it off, I started thinking about this. And my boring, joyless life. I asked Brian “what kind of joy can I find in cleaning the same litterboxes day after day?” Then it hit me. I said “you know what? I’m living my childhood dream. I’ve got lots of cats. I just never knew it would be so much work.”
But you know what? Being a model is a lot of work. Being president of the United States is a lot of work. Being a writer is a lot of work. Just about anything worth doing is a lot of work. But the results are what make the work worthwhile.
So, I’m gonna try to quit bitching to myself about my boring life. Because it’s really not so boring after all. I’m living my dream. How many people can say that?
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