My email to you bounced, so I thought I'd put my response here: CRF is not an automatic death sentence, it can be managed. DeeJay was CRF for over three years and managed nicely with sub-q fluids. We caught Rusty too late and fluids didn't help Lucky at all.
One of the best pages with a comprehensive list of links can be found at Tallyville's CRF page.I’ve heard the Yahoo CRF group is awesome.
If the vet tries to get you to buy the prescription diet, see if you can get samples first. Our CRF cats have never liked it. They’ll show some interest in it until I buy mass quantities, then decide they think it’s just horrible. And they’re finding out that it’s not the level of protein (many of these diets are low protein), but the quality of the protein that matters.
And a cat who won’t eat, can’t maintain.
Good luck and my thoughts are with you, I know how frightening this can be.