We lost her yesterday.
The appointment last Thursday was incredibly good. She'd lost some weight, the x-ray showed great progress in the reduction of the fluids. Her chest was much clearer. She had a good weekend. Tuesday, she even left her hidey spot to eat with the other cats. She didn't like taking her meds, but she didn't fight them too much.
She was doing so well that when she went outside Wednesday and hung out in the dog house on the bank, that was a good thing. I let her stay out and when she still hadn't come in early yesterday morning, I got the flashlight and she ran into the house. Later in the morning, she had some ham baby food and a little A/D. But she looked worse than she had been looking. I asked Brian to get out one of the big dog crates so that I could more easily watch her. I held her in a blanket while he set it up. We put a couple of towels down inside and I covered it over with blankets so it wasn't so bright (she never seemed to like bright). I tried different things for her to eat, but she just laid there. Then she stood up and peed on the towels. I called for Brian to come help changing them out. And we put down a pee pad. When I put her back inside, she lay on the pee pad and very loose poo just flowed out of her. I called him in to help again and took her into the bathroom to wash her off. He put in a new towel and pee pad. I put her back in the crate and that was pretty much it for the rest of the time. She'd move around a little, but lifting her up was like grabbing a handful of cooked noodles. Just limp. Her eye were open, but it definitely wasn't good. I called the vet's office and her appointment was at 3:45.
Brian drove (if it's a life ending situation, he's there) and the vet was really surprised at how badly she was doing, because she'd been so good the week before. He did the thing where he picks her up and dragged her paws, one by one, across the top of the examining table. She had almost no resistance, worse on her left side. He laid her back down on the blanket and she just laid there, with her head down and eyes open. He shook his head.
He said she most likely threw a blood clot, but it didn't go into her back or legs. All of her paws were warm so there was still blood flow to them. But there was definitely something going on and his best guess was a blood clot to the brain. The side of her heart that had the fluid build up was the left side and that's the side that pushes out. Blood and sometimes, blood clots. He went through the medical options, like aspirin therapy, but the amount of aspirin needed would kill the kidneys. Or there was Plavix, which was expensive and could be scary. He said there were some clients who had their pets on Plavix and the pet would crash, bleeding out different places. He said the best thing for her, the most humane, was euthanasia.
As she was sedated, he told us that bringing her in last week was a good thing, otherwise she'd have drowned with that fluid in her lungs (back to Captain who couldn't breathe). She had a good last week. And now she's gone.
I can't say that I think we'll miss her very much. Because she wasn't there, you know? If there was one word to describe her, it was "scared". She'd been like that the entire time we'd had her. She came with Little Guy's (Mystie and Katie's sister) kits, Opie, Richie, Angel (who also had heart problems), Sammy and DaNiece. She was never affectionate, the only close kitty friend she had was Bart. After he passed, she stayed hidden.
When we had treats, she always got some, but when I'd put them by wherever she was hiding, she always cowered. If she was sleeping on a blanket in the garage, if we turned on the light or walked out there, she'd jump down and hide. I have no idea why she was like this, she'd never been abused. The only thing I can think of is that she had some brain damage from birth.
I checked on her a couple of times everyday, without fail. Just to be sure she was doing okay. She was special, in that I went beyond what I do with the other cats to get her to not be so afraid. She got more treats than the rest. I talked to her every time I checked on her (and I NEVER saw her sleeping). Sometimes I'd get on my knees and start petting her. First, she'd pee herself (like a nervous dog),then she'd relax and start purring for me. But it was never enough.
I know she's at peace now. And I hope to meet her again someday..