It’s not as painful as it could be. Maybe because we’ve seen this coming for a while.
He’s always had problems with his lower back (remember how he came to live here; he’d been hit by a car, nothing broken, but his owner wasn’t going to keep him indoors, his daughter-in-law took Oliver in and when Ollie didn’t get along with her husband or son, she called us) and it had gotten worse.
Then there was the kidney problem. We’ve lost enough to renal failure that we know it’s just a matter of time, that it can’t be cured.
That said, I don’t believe it was kidneys that caused what happened last week. I think he had a tumor in his tummy. There are a number of reasons why I think this.
First off, of all the cats we’ve had with kidney failure, not one quit peeing. They peed more than ever. But nothing was leaving Ollie’s system. Right there was red flag #1. Not being able to keep anything down was #2. For the past few years, when he was separated from the others to eat his soft food, he’d stop midway through and let out this gawdawful caterwaul. Then he’d resume eating. The past few months, he was louder. I wrote it off to old age.
Even if I’d been concerned enough to have tests run, there’s nothing different we would have done. Surgery? No. Not at his age. Spend thousands of dollars, put him through surgery (which most likely the vet would not have done, I remember how the vet was reluctant to do Miss Elizabeth’s teeth and I’m sure her values were better than Ollie’s) and who knows how long for recovery, to have him die within weeks or months? No, that wouldn’t have been for him, it would have been for us.
As the vet told us when we said goodbye, this was the greatest gift we could give him. A peaceful and painless end.
I am surprised at just how much he’d been peeing. With as many cats as we have, I just attributed it to a group thing. But it wasn’t. I’m cleaning up less in my bathroom that I had been. Brian still has a problem, because Marco goes in his bathroom, Oliver always went in his shower. But there are fewer Lake Urines in the house now.
I do miss him. I miss him most at night, because he was my pillow cat. And I miss his smell. He smelled like baking bread. There were times I saw him sleeping on the bed during the day and I’d go in just to breathe in his scent. It was like heaven.
I’ll see him again someday. I hope he remembers me. I’ll always remember him. As with all who’ve passed away, they’ll always have a place in our memories and our hearts.